The Sofa Diaries

I was so tempted to stay with the first picture, for obvious reasons, but if this is going to be a warts-lobster-juice-and-all blog, then it's only fair to show you the after picture too. I'm an ex-journalist, with a book out on Amazon, and another in the pipeline, which I'll do my best to sell you, and this... is my life.

before after.JPG
 

August 13, 2018

28 July

I hate changing rooms so much that I buy all my clothes online and then have to send them back because they don’t suit me.

This means I have had nothing new in my wardrobe since 1992, so Lucy has booked me in to see her personal shopper at Debenhams in Birmingham...

July 2, 2018

2 July

Well, as far as excuses for not keeping up with a diary, this is a bloody good one. I didn’t tell you about the pregnancy, and the agonizing labour I had to endure, and finally, the beautiful new baby girl I’ve been fully occupied with over the last two months.

Ye...

April 7, 2018

7 April

I read somewhere recently – no doubt Twitter, now that I’m terrified of Facebook, with its Orwellian-style Big Brother reputation (yes, yes, irony acknowledged if this is where you are reading this) – that every time you get dressed,  remember that when you die,...

March 18, 2018

18 March

No amount of steam, smog from a selection of scented candles, plus some artfully placed artificial plants from Ikea can disguise the fact that our bathroom is on its last...plinth.

The sealant has come so far away from the wall that it's possible to wave down th...

March 6, 2018

6 March

After mixing with Mexicans for ten days, Signor Jong and me are back with our suitcases and astonishingly bad jet-lag. Or hang-overs. Most possibly both, because all-inclusive holidays mean that you can try out every single cocktail on the bar menu, which involv...

February 13, 2018

1 February

Mr Young has been suffering from one cold after another this winter, punctuated only by my migraines, so ours has been a House of Misery and Pain, like some sort of Dickensian nightmare.

Our only consolation has been that they haven’t coincided, so that I have...

January 22, 2018

22 January

“Look at us both, we’re like a couple of teenagers!” I nudge Mr Young, realising that we are side by side on the sofa, both engrossed in staring at the screens on our phones.

“Hardly,” he says, but not even bothering to look up. “I’m looking at Fairisle slippe...

January 13, 2018

13 January 

Yorkshire pudding: can it ever be too stodgy? Part attention-grabbing headline, part genuine question. Personally, I think the empty-golden-shell style is a massive disappointment. What’s the point? Give me the doorstep, 1000-calorie square that takes t...

January 3, 2018

3 January

The children have moved home so many times that I've lost count. Obviously, I realise this sounds misleading; they were no longer children when they moved home, otherwise that would make me a truly horrible parent (“Get out! Find somewhere else to live today....

December 23, 2017

23 December

Oh, the glamour of it all! A pre-Christmas jaunt to the iconic Ronnie Scott’s jazz bar in Soho with our fun friends, Mr and Mrs D! Sadly, no one has been particularly impressed as few people seem to have heard of Ronnie Scott’s … for goodness sake! It’s one...

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